January 2010 began with the best day possible.
It is hard to find a word for how I'm feeling about the fact that it is January though. January is the month Emma is due. January is a whole new year, with a whole new life coming into existence.
I'm torn between wanting to go into labor right now and get it over with, and wanting to keep her inside and not have to deal with it at all. I really want to meet this new person who's been kicking my tail for the last few months, but I'm a little nervous about the whole process of getting her out.
Most people are aware that I want to attempt to have her naturally. I figure, that's the way it was done for years and years before the invention of pain medicine, and humanity continues to thrive, so it must be possible. I've never done it before though, so I don't really know what I'm up against. I think I am mentally prepared (aka stubborn) enough to handle it, but I'm not sure about the physical side of things. Regardless, the idea of an epidural also freaks me out, so I'm just gonna stick with the plan I suppose.
I've got her room all ready to go, with all but two of her outfits washed and hanging up in the closet. Its the most peaceful room in the house, because it's so organized and clean. Makes me happy. Makes me excited about her arrival. I sit and think, "you know, this room needs an Emma." Debby is going to paint some animal murals for the wall and then I think I'll post pictures up after those are hanging.
Supposedly 16 days to go, 14 in my book, and several if you consider both Daniel and I were two weeks late. I think I'm gonna get on facebook and post a survey to see if anyone can guess her due date correctly.
Last title source: When I Go Out, by FIF
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